Goa's Lifeguards

Every year around Christmas, New Year and in May when many Indians get time off for holidays, there are spates of drownings in Goa. Very few Westerners ever drown but the Indian tourists who arrive, get drunk and then jump into the sea for the very first time in their lives, soon find out that swimming takes a little bit of practice.

The Goa authorities became so concerned about the dead bodies washing up on the shores each morning that they came to the conclusion that a team of lifeguards was necessary to keep Goa’s beaches safe. They put out the call for lifeguard auditions and 117 hopefuls turned up to show what they could do.

However only one of them managed to pass the test.

Perhaps it was asking a bit much of a race of people who hardly ever go anywhere near the sea (despite the fact they live next to it) to swim 400 meters in 9 minutes. The issue wasn’t only that applicants took 20 or 30 minutes to swim the distance though, but rather that several of the would-be lifeguards began to flounder half way and had to call for help.

Whilst many (but not all) of the fishermen can swim and pretty well at that, it seems that too many of the applicants had been keen Baywatch fans and assumed the main part of the job was looking manly in beachwear, chatting up blondes in bikinis.